The blend of the psyche world and what is real anyway?
After consuming a mushroom truffle with magic properties today, I decided to return once more and hopefully last time of returning from a major unwilling break I took from writing. I hope that makes sense. I have been completely unable to function (the way I would like to). It all comes down to one simple thing, you either really wanna do something and do your thing despite annoying odds or you crumble down. It’s not okay to be weak like the great Jordan Peterson said. It’s an ETHICAL crime to not use your full potential and I believe, really believe that my potential is that of using words in a particular order to create a story or a get thought across, no matter how f*cking ridiculous it is. If you’ve seen any of my stories you know I swear like an old sailor. But the microdose today (I don’t even really know why to be honest but I’ll have a guess at it) sorta made me think about, perhaps the reason I swear so much. A nicely timed cuss can really express an emotion. Sometimes a violent one. A very violent one. Well that’s not very good. While cussing out can certainly express “residual” anger, the word binded with emotion can also carry the anger itself. It can associate itself with other words in your sentence angrily. DO I MAKE ANY GOSH DARN SENSE?
lemme get uhh
serotonin and some happy times please. I genuinely ain’t felt so OK in a long time. Or just OK in general. Ya know personal stuff atop more personal stuff that’s entirely too personal. It’s too early for me to say what “significant change” I’ve been through even though I’m tempted to say how my perception has changed I have no idea whether I will carry this any longer than this present moment and beyond few hours. But I’d love to! Dayum. Like the earthy sensation these mushrooms have, I too felt human after all with more care to my perception of the world. I closed my eyes and tripped two little mushroom elves atop my brain, repairing it. It’s like my brain had undergone maintenance and all the trips were the brain trying to clean itself of all the SHIT inside me! Pure evil shit and whatnot I don’t have a better word for it in my vocab. I literally care so little and so much at the same time… I don’t care what the feelings with this post will be associated amongst other people for the first time in history of my weird existence and at the same time I care a lot more about the fate that awaits me. I feel like I don’t get the full picture yet. It’s just a piece of the puzzle… I am gonna trip tonight. 30.11 Monday I hope it works out for me and I hope it makes sense… “I hope” is maybe weird to say. One of the very first things I wrote is “it all comes down to: you either do or don’t”, or at least that’s the idea as I remember it. But in a sense you still dwell and you still hope on that maybe you will stop on dwelling and hoping and just do what you gotta do, and that’s where I find myself currently.
This isn’t trying to be a piece of literature. I’m trying to get a feeling across, not necessarily a point. Feel. Convert. If you get it, you get it. I hope my brain maintenance goes well without major errors.
